Man Decides to Tip Himself

As more and more companies are putting tip jars at registers, a man in Oklahoma has taken the tip jar to a whole new level.  Warren Sterfarmen wakes up every morning, showers, brushes his teeth and flosses.  Upon completion of flossing, he tips himself because he feels he deserves it for doing what he is supposed to every day anyway.

“I figgered if evry’ne else don’ be aksin fer tips, why shouldn’t I’s be tippin’ myselfs as well.’  It’s myse own personal sides hustles.  And it can’t hurts, right?  Warren has now placed tip jars all over his house.

“I’s gots one in my kitchen next to my dishers, next to my dogs’ss foods bowl, and I even put one by my Beta fish—who I named VHS. Get it? I loves that name!  Thoughts it was funny, ya know?  I cracks myself ups sometimes.”

His biggest tip jar is on his front porch.  But that’s his favorite tip jar to fill.  “Every night, depended on my’s schedule, I’ll sits on my porch and have a beer to finish my day. That sunset right there’s one hell of a way to ends my day, t’ be honest.  And I just drop down a dollar the second the sun sets.  One thing I cant figure out, though, is sometimes the sun sets REALLY early, and then other times it sets REALLY late.  Hard to keep track sometimes.  Kinda like my money.  Life is hard.  But MAN, I love my tip jars!

While Warren is super proud of his tip system, he can’t figure out why he hasn’t been saving any money for the past eleven months.  “One thing I don’t gets though, is how come I’s not savin’ any money any more.  How am I supposed to buy toys for my dog, or give VHS any food if I’s not savin’ nothin?  Back to the drawin’ board I guess.  But first, I gotta start saving money for the drawing board and the chalk.  Man, life is hard.  I hate it sometimes.