Not really satire.

Not really satire.

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Matthew McConaughey Filed a Restraining Order Against Himself

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For the last several months, Matthew McConaughey had been in the process of filing the first of 3 restraining orders. The first was against his parents…the second was against his mom’s daughters son’s friend and the last one was against himself. We spoke with Matthew about the restraining order he filed against himself and here is what he had to say. “All the self talk was too much….ya know, me calling myself a stud and awesome in the same sentence was getting on my nerves….even when it is yourself complementing yourself over and over it can present some challenges…..I wanted to put an end to it…..as of now, I can’t go in my house or be with in 2 feet of myself or speak to myself in the same room…..I have no idea how this will work……I did ask the judge to make sure my restraining order against myself covers my affirmations and to allow me to no longer be able to hug myself more than 47 times in one day!” Matthew McConauhey is in the process of having a self marriage next month. This can be done legally in 47 states.

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