Mikey Died from Peanuts not Pop Rocks…….

Mikey didn’t die from pop rocks. At MPL, we like to provide commentary that only uncovers facts (this story is bullshit, but pretty funny….don’t let the readers know…strike this out please, editor). Several farmers from Cedar Rapids, Iowa found a way to infuse peanuts with double allergic reactions from a chemical that comes from a goat’s teat.

On June 7^th, 1979, Mikey didn’t die from pop rocks, however he inadvertently killed 7 people. He ate a handful of peanuts as he normally did throughout childhood. This time, he exploded, and body matter landed in several people’s soup at the deli in his neighborhood. All those people consumed the matter that exploded out of Mikey, they died instantly. Mikey is actually alive today and works for pop rocks as a sales rep. Here is what he had to say when we caught up with him, “Look, I am fnnn alive, however if I died of pop rocks that would have been fnnn funny….however, what is more hysterical is how I almost died from blowing up from peanuts, fully knowing I was allergic…shit, these were not your average peanuts…I was ripping ass immediately…and ultimately I exploded and stuck an Inka Pen in my belly button….have no idea why……I killed 7 people with my body matter floating in their soup….YES, a solo job…… I am a “legend”…hey, is MPL interested in buying some cases of pop rocks or I have these peanuts that are pretty good?”