New Gum Launches

Gum was invented in the 1840’s and continues to be popular among the youth and adults. From different flavors to teeth whitening gum, it all has different applications. John Balluss invented a new gum that makes males and females grow extra testicles. We spoke with John and here is what he had to say, “ I was mixing all kinds of shit in the basement that I found in the closet…I honestly have no idea what chemicals I was messing with……then I woke in the morning and realized I had a third testicle…..I threw some of this concoction in my girlfriend’s coffee and the day after she had a pair (testicles)…..I gave to all my friends at college….men and women students…all successfully grew testicles…..I have no idea why this matters or what my plans are with this chemical…sadly, it smells like shit….I might feed it to the catfish in my parents yard or to my dog who is dead…..anyways, this is all pretty ffffd up….but you can’t go wrong with an extra ball…my dad asked me if I had a business partner in this venture…I was clear and told him, this is a solo job!”