Not really satire.

Not really satire.

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New Legislation

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By Jack Firestone


Texas state representative has a new idea for criminals sentenced to life. State representative Taylor Murphy of Inzainesville, Tx has offered a bill to change death sentences to something else. Murphy said “My bill is designed to save this state a ton of money. Electrocution is getting too expensive as the cost of electricity has gone way up. So what is worse than being a murderer in jail? The answer is a pedophile. Think about it, it is better to have killed than touch a minor inappropriately.  Also add in that the life expectancy of a pedophile in a Texas prison is less than 5 months. So it’s a win-win, they die and Texas tax payers save money.”

So representative Murphy is proposing is that all murders on death row are sentenced as a pedophile and put back into the general population (if they survive jail…they can only hope).

1 Comment

  1. Adam Goldberg January 12, 2023

    Fan Fucking Tastic!!!

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