Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Sports

New NBA League

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By Jack Firestone


The NBA marketing team is at it again. First, they put together the WNBA, then it was the D league, and now they are coming up with a new league. The NBA is setting up a new league for little people or people under 4 foot 5 inches. They are going to call it the little league as the midget league was deemed way to offensive and not politically correct. Head of marketing Harold “Balls” Malone (also called Harry Balls) spoke about the new league and why it would be so popular. He stated “For many years regular folks could envision themselves playing in the NBA, but now that the average height is 6 foot 10, most people can’t see themselves doing that anymore. Now with the Little League, everyone can envision themselves not just playing in the league but also dominating the competition. A 12-year-old could see themselves dunking on our tallest player Tommy “Almost too tall” McGivern’s or even boxing out or best rebounder Walter “Windex” (because he cleans the glass) Hanson. It’s all about the fans, at the end of the year 5 lucky fans get to take on the league champion, the kicker is they can’t be over 5 feet tall to qualify.”

We checked the rules for this new league, and everything is the same, except the hoop is 5 foot 6 inches to allow for dunking and they also play with a pop a shot ball. The game is big on entertainment but short on players.

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1 Comment

  1. Steve JB January 15, 2023

    What do you mean WNBA is the “D” League? That is not cool!

    – Anonymous transfemale WNBA player

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