Not Harry Styles Step Brother

Former burglar turns life around, sort of. John Doe (Peter Styles asked that we didn’t use his real name) of Oakmont Ridge, Texas has turned his life of crime into something he says his mom would be proud of. John explained that there is not a house, apartment, or building he couldn’t break into. “I used to have a fetish with used woman’s underwear. Sure, I could have ordered them over the internet. I just got an extra high by breaking into the Paul Steven’s Retirement home and getting a whiff of fresh pairs (John making sniffing sounds with a big grin).

Eventually I grew up and that fetish went away, however that high of breaking in and not getting caught consumed me.”What John did next is set up a business where he would retrieve people’s belonging from a breakup or divorce. No matter how big or small John would do what he does best, break in, get his high, get their stuff back and now get paid. John’s so popular that clients must wait 4 weeks to secure his services.  However, he no longer will retrieve pets “I can’t afford to get humped and possibly pregnant….I can’t stand those little bastards.” John said. If you need his services, you can look him up on the internet under Get Your Stuff Back, and do not Facebook message under the name Peter Styles as he would like to remain anonymous.

His father had this final statement to say, “I do understand why he sniffs old boxers and briefs….please don’t publish that statement!”