NYSE Now Opens Later

The NYSE will now begin opening at noon EST. This has been an argument from the traders and many of the publicly listed companies that are on the exchange. We met one trader named Bill Stoner and here is what he had to say, “I am way to drunk or possibly stoned….although, to be honest..I am not sure if I am either…or him or he or shit…I have no idea…..but I can never make it to the opening bell….and neither can the other traders…I always have felt it was from the late night partying……however, it might be the rat poisoning my wife fed me that made me tired….I think…if it is not that, it might be that she keeps hitting me over the head with a hammer after dinner….at least she loves me!”