Not really satire.

Not really satire.

News

Other Uses for Electric Shock Treatment

Share

Paula Hunter of Huntsville Maryland has been an elite track athlete her whole life and has been coaching kids for the last 10 years. Paula has been using a very unorthodox training techniques in an effort to get maximum results. For her short distance runners, she applies electrodes to the calves and quads that emit a shock when she feels the athlete is not giving full effort.

Kim Pendleton, an athlete who trains under Paula says she is amazed at how much faster she has gotten as a result. “I used to finish last at the county meets for months and now just 3 months training with Paula I am winning my events” Kim states. Kim has won the last three 10 and under 100 yard dash. We asked Kim if the shocks were painful, and she said the first time she used it she fell to the ground and thought she was having a seizure. Kim told us that she laid on the ground for 10 seconds because Paula upped the voltage until I got up an ran. Peter an 8 year old with Paula’s training, when asked about the shock, said “ that hurts like a Mother F*cker! And you better believe you will run faster next time.”  

Unfortunately for her team, Paula will be away for a while as she has to defend herself in court after the death of Johnny Stillwell, who died on the track while training for Paula. Paula’s attorney Mark Lowell said the autopsy will show Johnny already had a heart condition and would have died eventually and Paula is not at fault. Mark went on to say if you want to supercharge your training and want to get shocking results, Paula is the trainer for you

Next Up