Oych Therapy

There has been a breakthrough in the treatment of Tourette’s syndrome and Dr. Han Van Voych has utilized hypnotherapy to reduce the outbursts associated with this ailment. Dr. Voych explained his breakthrough, “I am able to put my patients under hypnosis and create a replacement word to substitute their usual outburst. For example, a patient might yell out hairy vagina balls, but after my hypnosis verbal replacement process, they replace the outburst with the word OYCH. I tried to get them to say Voych but it always reverted back to OYCH. It was a great marketing opportunity for me but the oyching patients oyched it up. It has now become my word of choice that replaces everything and anything you want. I even asked my wife last night how her day was and she said Oych am I exhausted and I knew exactly what she meant. I even thought to myself Oych yeah! My wife gets it. While it may not help with their nonverbal ticks, it certainly helps people in everyday circumstances. Instead of interrupting a boardroom meeting with a curse laden expletive, no its just Bob yelling Oych.”

Dr. Voych is now working on treating the ticks associated with movement and trying electro shock therapy. Ronald Smithers, a patient of Dr. Voych explained his experience with the new treatment, “Oych, that psyching hurts to my core. I feel like Dr. Voych enjoys this new therapy way too much. Does he really need me to pretend to run as he lights me up with taser gun while wearing a cop outfit, and I feel really uncomfortable wearing black face. Dr. Voych swears by this method, but he is a total oych and if it weren’t for the money I would be gone.”