PetNotSoSmart Changes “Bring Your Dog” to Work Policy

By Bill Lumbergh

As of January 1, 2023, PetNotSoSmart is changing the policy about bringing pets to the office. For years they have allowed employees to bring dogs to the corporate HQ. There is good news, employees can continue to bring their pets to the office with one new nuance.

CEO David Dicksoff had this to say, “Many dogs begin having sexual randevu’s during work hours resulting in mass procreation of puppies….I hate to even speak like this…..it disgusts me to instill this new policy…….we are allowing all dogs to f@#@##@ themselves in the ass…..this solution has brought down impregnation……..and yes, it is so damn funny to watch….and even PETA bought off on this crazy ass policy…..they have the same policy in their offices……but with male employees who can now f#@#@# themselves in the ass at their corporate HQ during work hours!”

PETA CEO Susan Animoless had this to say in a final statement, “I hate men and this works great…we…I mean me, encourage this practice as often as possible….we also have cameras that video this company activity and send a clip to each male employees mom and grandma……every so often we send the picture to their dad and previous employer…….Go USA!!”