PreAmazon
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Amazon is at it again, at first they came up with Prime with next day shipping. They even came up with one click buying but now they have taken it a step further, predictive buying. Head of marketing Nostra Damus, explained “We at Amazon have now mastered the art of shopping so well, that we can now predict what people want even before they know it. For example, we have tapped into their phone, Alexa and all other listening devices to figure out what people want. Then all we do is ship it to them, it’s brilliant. Have you ever seen an ad on your phone or Facebook and felt like they’ve been listening to your conversations? Well they have and that is why they send you the ad. We just skip the ad and send you the product.”
The PreAmazon has been in testing for the last few months and the results have been mixed. We reached out to a few customer and found out some interesting findings. Unknowingly shopper Bernie Small explained, “ I was so excited to get the surround sound I’ve been talking about for weeks, at first I though it was my wife, who I never thought would get me it, and I was right. I love PreAmazon more than my wife.” Unknowingly shopper Alan Fern discussed, “I gave my phone to my kid to borrow a week and next thing I know I get an XBOX at my front door, I am out $400 bucks and my kid believes in Santa Claus, which is weird because we are Jewish.” Unknowingly shopper Amanda Burns, “I Freakin hate this thing, now I have to explain to my husband why I need all these massagers (using finger quotes).”
PreAmazon has been so successful because only 75% of items get returned and their trucks are running all over the country so it costs virtually nothing to absorb the return costs. A large portion of the 25% that accept their products just assume someone in their household ordered the item. As a side note, there is a pending lawsuit as the initial launch was aimed at people who live in homes that specialize in Alzheimers.
