Preparation H Releases New Flavors, Chocolate, Strawberry, and Menthol

As many of you already know, Preparation H feels good on the hole, and the company has set out to improve its lineup by adding three new flavored options to the shelves. Chocolate, Strawberry, and Menthol headline the new additions, which are the result of careful market research showing that instances of ass-to-mouth have increased by 300% for Men and Women ages 18-45, as well as, for those 65+. Albert Hole, the head of development for Preparation H had this to say, “We’re extremely proud of our new flavored creams, which we think are going to be real game changers for the ATM love-makers. Our research shows that practically everyone is dining at the booty buffet these days, and anal is up 200% as well, and that of course means more people with itchy and sore bungholes. These creams not only clear those problems right up, but they taste delicious too. We’re ready to rock their worlds and keep the back-porch party going.” Some concerns have been raised about the menthol flavor being problematic, but the Preparation H team was quick to note that all reports show Menthol being cool and tingly, much like its cigarette counterparts. We surveyed sexually active men and women to see if they would be using the new flavored creams, and more than 70% said yes, with only 5% saying they don’t do any butt stuff, while the other 25% had various answers that were too disgusting to note. All three flavors of Preparation H should be available at your local CVS or drugstore pharmacy as early as next month. Also, it should be noted that while the creams are edible and the company has said they’re 100% safe, side-effects of over consumption include explosive diarrhea, severe rectal itch, and in rare cases Pointyronie’s disease.