Protest
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People are pissed! About what? Who knows, but they are pissed about something. When they are pissed off they want to do something about it. Unfortunately, or fortunately these mad people are too busy to have their annoyances heard, except for on social platforms. These frustrated individuals want their voices heard and many times wish they could protest what annoys them. A new company has emerged to help satiate these individual’s desire to be heard in the form of a protest. March4U is a company that you can hire out to march for your grievances.
We Spoke with Martin Uncel, the person who created the March4U company to better understand his company. Martin said, “I am not a passionate person about anything except money and I live on a street in DC where a ton of protesters/marchers walk by almost weekly. I said to myself, I wonder what it’s like to be this passionate about something? Then I realized, I don’t have time for that shit and then it hit me. There are probably thousands or millions of people who want to protest and don’t have time to fly down to DC and march. So I started March4U where they pay me to march for their cause. Depending on the size of the march they want is how I charge them, the bigger the march the more employees I need. Instead of using cardboard signs, we use reusable dry erase boards. We are so efficient now that we can protest down the street for one job, erase our signs and march for another cause on the way back.”
“We did have a little trouble after we did a march for vegans or something like that because someone took a picture of us eating at Harry’s BBQ after the march.” Said Martin. He continued, “We don’t care about your cause because our cause is making money. We actually had a guy protest protesting. He lives on the same street as me and hates these marchers, so he hired us to protest other people’s marches. We have also protested Teacher’s sleeping with 8th graders, I had know idea that was a thing but he hired 5 of to protest it, so we did. If you want to be heard we are happy to be your voice.”
Turns out they have been arrested a few times as a result of their marchers. They were arrested for public indecency when they were protesting the oppression of clothing. Apparently, they charge an extra fee if getting arrested is involved in their march.
