Remote Work Changes Office Behavior (Inspired by Lee)

By Bill Lumbergh

There is no question that working remotely is taking over the job landscape. It is no longer a privilege, but rather the standard for employment. We have been able to capture fact-based events going on and MPL has had all subjects sign a release form so this can all be a matter of public record:

• Who didn’t replace the last cup of coffee…hate my wife and my boyfriend …..neither even work here
• Mandatory lock downs when polygamy sets in after 2:30pm
• Nobody should kill a dog…..unless their neighbor who is working remotely has a dog barking all night….then it’s fine..right
• Lunch is only an hour…..only if you are a dumbass and can’t find some stupid kid down the street to do your work…at that point, work ends lunch bleeds into dinner in a hurry…maybe even throw in a movie or two……one shower and eat all of your kids lunchables and don’t apologize….its ok if they cry………you are no longer hungry…and kids are annoying anyways
• Start a new job….oh, because you are working remotely you don’t think its possible….let me send you the database of all my friends who call their new full time job a “gig”

Next week we will be meeting with CEO’s who does absolutely nothing and cash in on options that are worth several millions. We have been debating what to call that segment…..maybe “The Art of Doing Nothing to Gain Profit”