Stand Off Ends Safely

Criminals will always be criminals. However, this instance is incredibly odd and based on a set of factual events. Sargent Peters of Liverpool….we mean Chicago…… was in the process of engaging a man named Ray…..and he wanted everyone to listen very closely to what he had to say. He had 3 hostages in an abandoned building located on North Wolcott in Chicago. As soon Peters broke into the house, he grabbed that dirt bag Ray Smallass and slammed him against the wall. From there, he shouted, “One hotdog eating contest asshole….Kobiyashi has nothing on me and either do you Ray!” At that point Ray refused to engage in the contest. Currently both Peters and Ray are still in the building. Ray refuses to let him out. The Chicago police have brought in Joey Chestnut in and here is what he had to say, “Listen Peters….let the guy go….and Kobiyashi quit because he hates hot dogs……he did it for the money…its me against you asshole…..and I hate hot dogs…but I hate losing more to dipshits like you…..on a good note, I have never had a stomach eating like this for all these years…admittedly my liver and kidneys no longer function…..but, I have never had the shits once…some false alarms for sure…..but never made wall paper peel……beat that nimrod!”