Surprise Adoptions

Inflation has taken its toll on a lot of things around the country and getting kids adopted has also been hit hard during these times. People see prices going up and start to rethink whether they want and or can afford adopting a child. Gary Childers who works for a nonprofit organization that exclusively helps kids get adopted has come up with a new solution to this problem. Surprise adoptions as Gary calls it is the answer to the adoption problem. Gary explained, “We simplified the adoption process in so many ways. First off, we send a check for $1000 to a family who is having issues with conceiving a child. We have it in very small print that by accepting this check you are agreeing to adopt a child. Even if they return the child, they have to pay back the $1000 and an extra $500 restocking fee, completely legal. People rarely return their child, and we have a great plan in place to ensure that is the case. First off, we get our client list from fertility clinics and their failures. We send them the check and wait for them to cash it and boom we go to work. We set up a surprise adoption party for family, friends and coworkers, this really makes it hard for the family to reject the child. Seriously, can you imagine having to tell everyone at your child’s party that you are going to return it, not to mention the restocking fee. This plan is going very well, and we are almost ready to take this plan to the other 49 states.”

Gary Childers is still under investigation from his last job where he was in charge of helping criminals return to the workplace after incarceration. Apparently, Gary did not realize it was a crime to have his clients use his finger prints and name to get past the background checks.