Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Food

Sushi Great….or No?

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By Jack Firestone


The cost of food has increased a lot over the last few years and people are looking for ways to cut their grocery bills in an effort to have money left over for other essentials.  Yummy Yummy Foods incorporated is under fire for their latest attempt to sell low cost foods but play it off as high end. We spoke to supermarket purchasing manager Paul Hart about the Yummy Yummy controversy, who said, “When I spoke to their representative I was under the impression based on conversations that they were a subsidiary of Yum Yum foods and they did not correct me at any time. They also told me they were selling me sushi grade salmon and it turns out they actually said sushi great not grade, but he said it so fast you would have thought he said grade. It says sushi great on the back of their box in small print so our attorney said we can’t even sue. Despite claims of being an authentic Asian food company, Yummy Yummy headquarter’s reside in Detroit Michigan. We had  the sushi in our freezer for only 2 weeks when the calls started to come in and the  accusations of food poisoning were nonstop, I have voicemails of people telling me about ruining their pants and wanting to send me the dry cleaning bill. A lady called and told me she chipped her tooth on the sushi and was sending me her dentist bill. I should have known that there was no way the could sell sushi grade salmon for 70 percent below normal costs. We now have to eat the loss, literally I now serve the sushi to my employees on their breaks. Turns out we are now short 13 employees short because of a rare salmonella outbreak, damn sushi and it sure ain’t great.”

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