Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Lifestyle News

Swinger Divorce

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Many marriages have been ruined by the swinging lifestyle. Couples with the best of intentions who indulge in the swinging lifestyle sometimes cannot get over the jealousy of seeing a loved one in a sexual act with another person. However, in the case of Mr. and Mrs. Devine the swinging lifestyle killed their marriage as well, but not in the way you would think. Andy Devine explained how the swinging lifestyle killed their marriage, “Beth and I lived on a quiet street or so we thought. We found out from our next-door neighbor, that one of our shared couple friends were swingers. Beth and I joked about if we could or couldn’t swing, even though I said I couldn’t, part of me wanted to pretty bad. Remember we were married, so our sex life was basically nonexistent, and I was horny, but I digress. We agreed it would never happen just like a blow job in my marriage, that died the day she said I do or in the case of BJs she said I won’t. Back to the swingers, we found out our next-door neighbors along with 3 other neighbors were propositioned by the swingers and we weren’t and that is what set into motion our divorce. At first, we were like, what is wrong with us? Why don’t they want to swing with us? I mean we have to be better than the other 3 couples or at least not as bad. Eventually we turned on each other and I started blaming Beth and she started blaming me for the lack of swinging interest. I probably shouldn’t have said that word probably got out about your anti BJ stance and killed our chances. Nevertheless, we went down a dark path that led us to divorce. I will never forgive Beth for saying I had a 3-inch penis, and second of all she needs to measure it from the base, everybody knows that rule.”

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