Taiwanese Cheerleaders

In the NBA, there are some mind games played to try to make the opposing players miss their free throws.  A few weeks ago, Donovan Mitchell successfully trash talked Grant Williams (that’s part of the game) and made him miss a free throw that cost them the win.  Spectators get involved as well with balloons, signs, and as much yelling as they can muster up.

However, the NBA does not allow cheerleaders to participate in this mental misdirection ritual on the other team.  This appears to be NOT the case in Taiwan.

In a Taiwanese league game, Su Pai-Chang of Taiwan Beer was sent to the free throw line and was met with a group of cheerleaders called “The LuxyGirls” right under the basket, twerking and gyrating, trying to “get him off his game.”  Well that worked, as Su missed the free throw, and they lost to the Changhua BLL. 

And that started a firestorm of controversy!

Changhua BLL Coach, Fu-Ling Yu said, “You a professional you don’t get distracted!  What problem??”

Taiwan Beer owner Sum-Ting Wong rebutted by saying, “This is no wight!  They flaunt coochie and we flaunt coochie, this become coochie fest!  Two Wongs don’t make a wight!”

Taiwanese Athletic Commission General Counsel, So Su Mi stated, “This grey area.  It not exactly illegal so we figure out after season.  But these girls really bending rules, like they do each other!”

The Thai Women’s League President, Munchdat Puntang defended the ladies with, “Twerk is actual work! And they should get an assist and bonuses with every miss.  Pay the ladies!”  

330-pound player Noh Jum Pai complained, “I make my living at the free throw line.  Don’t make it harder on me.”

Controversial player, Wai Yu Kum Nao, would only say, “Too soon.  Too soon.  Let’s try again later.”

The League’s Public Relations Official, Yu Suk Mo said, “At least we not NBA!  We have buzzard beaters only in Taiwan, no wife beaters!”

Shawn Kemp, a former NBA legend who played a few years in Taiwan by his Chinese name, Wah Shing Kah Nao claimed, “Taiwan Beer contacted me to be their first male cheerleader.  Because I’m the Rain Man, they wanted me to sing ‘It’s raining men,’ and I’m so broke I will probably do it.  If they say jump, I will say how high…although it’s not high at all nowadays.”

Taiwan League Commissioner Nip Pin Bhut finally said, “If this is problem we will nip in the bud!  That my middle name, or I guess my full name!  But fo sho… 

If there’s problem, yo, I’ll solve it.  Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.”