Taylor Swift is Off the Charts

By Bill Lumbergh

Taylor Swift is far beyond a one hit wonder. If anything, she has sensationalized the music industry. Her popularity ranks high among all ages.

In a most recent doctor visit, it was discovered she is not done growing. At 33 years of age, she is expected to grow to be 7ft 11. Unheard of and still being researched by doctors in the Netherlands.

She is also expected to gain 270 lbs in the next two weeks. When asked about this discovery Taylor had this to say, “Look, I am skinny as shit….and I love pork grimes….tall and fat is the new thin……..I was so fnnn sick of bulimia….this fits in with my long term goals…..here we come Coney Island…Joey Chestnut has nothing on me!”