The Dead Lift

Jeremy Donaldson is a highly successful entrepreneur and inventor in Columbus Georgia. Jeremy who spends most of his days working at a funeral home has come up with a new invention inspired from his work. Jeremy explained his new invention, “I spend most of my days watching old people grieving over their friends who have passed away. I see the pain in the faces as they not only see their friend dead on in a coffin but the pain only grows as they see the younger relatives get the honor of being pallbearers. Just last week I saw Eugene Walter’s tear up as his piece of shit nephew helped carry his brother Herschel to his grave. You could tell he wanted to do it so bad but he was too weak, well not anymore. With my new invention the Eugene’s of the world will get that chance to lift their loved one to their grave. It is a carbon fiber harness that one can wear under their suit or even a dress that allows them to carry up to 350 pounds while only having to hold 25 pounds of effort.”

The product is taking off but not without its limitations. For example, it is recommended that one eats before they put on the harness as they won’t have much mobility in their arms. The most important thing to remember is to use the bathroom before putting it on or at the very least wear depends, as there is no chance you will be able to wipe. The future will tell how successful the product will be but if their name is any indication, The Dead Lift will be a huge success.