THIS DAY IN SPORTS HISTORY

On this day in sports history – November 10^th, 1986 – Shelly ‘Sugar Tits’ O’Shanahan collected the most penalty minutes ever awarded to one player in single hockey game.

Ice hockey, widely accepted as the greatest game in the world, is an extremely physical sport. While it has been gently wussified over the years in order to protect players from themselves, it has always featured hitting and fighting as a way of equalizing talent and allowing short-tempered, ill-adjusted assholes an outlet for their behavioral issues. There’s no better example of this than the minor league hockey clash between the Halifax Beavers and South Dakota Prairie Oysters on November 10^th, 1986, which featured an all-world goon named ‘Sugar Tits’ O’Shanahan. The nickname Sugar

Tits was not earned on the ice, but rather a moniker he gained while prowling the local strip clubs after wins and losses. O’Shanahan was the USCMHL’s leader in penalty minutes going into the game, having fought 47 times in just 17 contests to start the year, so fireworks were expected. However, no one expected him to earn an incredible 175 penalty minutes in one game, along with a league ban for life. The game began with a simple scrap between O’Shanahan and ‘Fisty’ McGibbons- another nickname earned off the ice- the Prairie Oysters enforcer, which earned O’Shanahan five minutes for fighting, and two ten minute misconducts for instigating and unsportsmanlike conduct after he threw his stick like a Javelin at a fan. The fan was treated for minor wounds. Then things went off the rails in the second period, when O’Shanahan went right to the net and attacked the Prairie Oysters goalie, Joonus Bjorn Poonas. This instigated a benches clearing brawl with all forty skaters turning the ice into a battleground as they squared off in all directions. In the middle of the fray, first-hand accounts state that McGibbons had the jump on Sugar Tits and was pummeling him pretty good, when O’Shanahan took off his skate and stabbed McGibbons right in the stomach. At that point, all eyes were on them and the players stopped fighting to rally around McGibbons. He was treated at a local hospital and released with 75 stitches. Shelly ‘Sugar Tits’ O’Shanahan was given 150 additional penalty minutes for his assault on McGibbons, for a single game record of 175, which still stands to this day. In addition, the USCMHL banned O’Shanahan for life, “because attempted murder is really shitty for our PR. Our department is one guy, he couldn’t handle all that. He had a breakdown actually, it was sad.”  We could not track down Shelly O’Shanahan for comment.  Most fans remember the event after it was the inspiration for Happy Gilmore, when Adam Sandler’s character was the only person to ever take off his skate and try to stab someone, a tribute to his friend O’Shanahan.