This Moon Is Full… Of Everything BAD!!!

By now the entire country is aware of (and hopefully disgusted with) Missouri Republican Senator Mike Moon and his stance on adults having the right to marry children as young as 12 years old. When pressed by California Governor Gavin Newsom on his ridiculous and disgusting take on what he considers the “appropriate” age of consent for marriage, Moon’s only defense to Newsome was, “Do you know any kids who have been married at age 12? I do. And guess what? They’re still married.”

Well, as with all things stupid is as stupid does, Moon has some fans and supporters. Some are pushing this twisted envelope even further.

A well-known Rocheport, MO bar known for their strong drinks and hook-up successes (their house special is called the “Roofie Colada”), has a proposal to their local councilmen to lower the drinking age to 8 years old. They have started practicing their proposal until law enforcement tells them otherwise.

As we tried to interview a man (who would not reveal his name) sitting with an 8-year-old girl eating a bowl of macaroni and hotdog pieces while sipping apple juice, we overheard him tell her while handing her a business card, “I am actually a Hollywood Agent.” The girl took the card and replied, “I can’t read yet.”

Marijuana being legal in Missouri has allowed many “Weed Lounges” to pop up all over the state. One such lounge in Kimmswick, MO has a banner hanging over the front door reading “If You Can Wipe Your Own Ass… You’re Old Enough For Grass!” They have their own proposal sent to their local congressman to allow marijuana sales to anyone old enough to walk on their own with the ability to carry currency in their pockets.

We tried to speak with a child that was probably in the range of 10 years old (who was clearly very high), but he just kept smiling and repeating the word “doodie.” Another young person (maybe 13 years old and impaired) told us, “I am gonna be so baked at my bar mitzvah, Dude.”

We have been trying so hard to get some time with Mike Moon to get his true side of the story. We want to ask him how he could possibly spout such a ludicrous idea. How he could honestly think that a 12-year-old could possibly consent to an adult in marriage. How he can possibly defend that any type of sexual relations between a 12-year-old and an adult is not RAPE. How he cannot see the can of worms that he is opening by defending this insanely moronic stance on predatory adults taking advantage of children.

While every sane person in the country sits back and says, “What cast of backwards, sister-loving, brain damaged, perverted, mentally challenged, disciples of NAMBLA could possibly have elected this pedophile to office,” Moon is continuing his message by proclaiming American Girl, Build-a-Bear, FAO Schwarz, Toys R’ Us, LEGO, and Hobby Lobby stores will all now have marriage registries in Missouri.

Mike Moon, shame on you. Unfortunately, you’re a little too old for this, but just to make it hurt a little bit; your 14-year-old girlfriend is grounded, Mister!