Tiger Woods Moves Into the Caddyshack

After being sued by his former romantic partner, Tiger Woods, was spotted living out of the Caddyshack at Orangebrook Golf & Country Club in Hollywood, Florida. Woods, who had played at the club as an adolescent just out of diapers, recalled one of the club pro’s saying to him, “you have a place to stay anytime you are in town and for as long as you want.” With that memory etched in his mind, it is believed that the 47 year-old, 15-time major championship winner, is leveraging the Florida Residential Landlord Tenant Act to claim a perpetual oral rental contract at Orangebrook.

After depositing his remaining assets into offshore bank accounts in the Bahamas, Woods is believed to have a net worth of less than $150,000, which is less than the median net worth for an American of his age. Some caddies leaving the club were overheard commenting on how competitive Woods was at rolling dice and cards. “That guy either doesn’t like losing or he’s really broke,” complained caddy Duffer Vance to fellow caddy Giancarlo Bunorotti. “Si Signore!” the Stromboli national responded.

Paparazzi posted a photo on TMZ which is believed to be Tiger sporting a white bucket hat, channeling his Yosh Kawano, the late beloved clubhouse manager for the Chicago Cubs. Kawano, like Woods, had supposedly fallen on hard financial times like Woods, which led him to temporarily living at his place of employment, the friendly confines of Wrigley Field.

When asked for comment from TMZ, Tiger Woods ex-wife, Elin Nordegren quickly responded”I told everyone that Tiger was less Ty Webb debonair and more Carl Spackler gauche, but no one ever believed me! Now I’ll be able to have 100% custody of my children since their father has proven to be a delinquent dad.”

Calls from TMZ to Tiger Woods from last week were not returned as the call was recorded on a 1990’s answering machine located in the Caddyshack which has been without power since a fallen palm tree landed on power lines to the club facilities.