Trash Strike Ends in Paris
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Up to 10,000 tons of trash has been piling up in Paris, and has become a visual symbol of the nation’s opposition to Marcon’s attempt to increase the retirement age from 62 to 64. Along with many other unions, sanitation workers had been on strike. While it’s not over, they will “suspend” the strike after three weeks to clean up the city before the trash becomes a health concern.
Throughout the country there have been regular protests, pockets of violence, and dozens of arrests. However, the fight is not over, and the Unions have scheduled for another day of action on April 6th.
President of the Trash Union, Jacques Coustodian spoke for the country when he said, “We deserve to retire at 62! We French are all soft, flaky, and half-baked! Oh wait, that’s my croissant. Anyways we French stop
working hard at 32 max, so don’t make us fake it till 64!”
President of the Sewage Union chimed in with, “We stand by our brothers and sisters at the Trash Union!! As you know, French shit doesn’t stink, so we have no problems with smells or anything, but I feel for the Trash Union. They must work in very stinky situations. But even our trash isn’t so bad, it just smells like a combination of warm marmalade and Aaron Rodgers’ locker.”
President of the Youth of France Assembly, Marcel MarSooverthis said defiantly, “We are tired of these old people making outdated rules. It’s 2023! Screw all their math and charts and graphs!
More Gig economy,
Less trig onometry!”
French Soccer Coach Didier Deschamps, was there to protest, but then backed off, “I don’t mind zhis zou know, vhen somezhing in France ztinks more zhan our team. And noi, I know nozzing about P Diddy ore being a Shamppeon, but my parrons gave me zhis name zou know zo please ztop molesting me about zit!”
Head of Department of Labor, Mattias Zoey Leblanc, published this response, “We understand and hear the people. And we care about you. We will take care of each and every one of you. I mean it and I’m not just writing Leblanc checks.”
