Unemployment on The Rise

As unemployment continues to be a problem all over the country, we have identified some of the benefits associated with having no income:

• You no longer have to offer anyone help in really anything
• You are not lazy…..you are just doing what you have time for which is nothing
• Nobody can get mad at your for waking up late or not doing your work — having no purpose has opened up the opportunity to get better sleep and watch more garbage TV
• You can work remotely every day of the week…..shit, you don’t have a job so that doesn’t matter
• Making fake money might come in handy during this time (make sure you get that special paper)
• You can make fun of your old boss because he is about to get fired and you want to speed up the process

We spoke with an unemployed college kid name Billy Smotess who wanted to remain anonymous and we decided to use his real name at MPL…..go ahead and send us a cease and desist letter….we know you can’t afford and attorney……and here is what he had to say, “Being unemployed has allowed me to break many records…..mostly seeing how long I can stay in my room and not tell anyone what I am doing…and staying in the bathroom long enough where others wonder what is going on…..at least I have a plan….sure then say “G-D has a plan for you”….don’t need his help….the plan is simple…do nothing…I am blessed!”