Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Healthcare

Unique Weight Loss

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Losing weight is a struggle for millions of people and that number, like their waistline, is growing. The weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and plastic surgeon William Pillsford has creating what he calls a foolproof way to get his clients to shed some pounds. Dr. Pillsford’s unique procedure has come under fire, not for its results but because of his methods. Dr. Pillsford has his clients sign a non-disclosure agreement form before he begins his procedure. He does not even reveal his plans to his clients, he guarantees them 15- to 20-pound weight loss in the first month and that is just the beginning. Media Pub Live (MPL) went undercover and under the knife to get the exclusive details of how Dr. Pillsford’s weight loss program works.

Stanley Framel, our fat janitor at MPL went undercover to see the magic weight loss plan firsthand. We called Stanley for comment, but he refused to talk to us or anyone else, as his lips were sealed shut with titanium rope. Stanley wrote down what happened and his note stated that he went to Dr. Pillsford and he made him sign the agreement and make a payment. After the money was received, he had me in his surgery center and put under amnesia and when I woke up, I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t open my mouth. They took me in another room where they showed me a tube that went into my belly where I now had to feed myself through, because I couldn’t open my fucking MOUTH!! 3 weeks later I lost 32 lbs and I am used to the feedings. Sure its drastic and unexpected but so is the weight loss.I went into this whole thing thinking I was getting liposuction and ended up not being able to speak. Not only did it save my life as I no longer have high blood pressure, it also saved my marriage, as I no longer could speak to my wife for over 4 months.

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