Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Comedy Lifestyle

Very Special Greeting Cards

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Hallmark has held the biggest corner on Greeting Cards for about as long as anyone can remember. The company started in 1910 in Kansas City, Missouri. And now, 113 years later, there is a new kid on the block with a line of greeting cards that no one can do without.

True Feelings Greeting Cards, LLC opened their doors (website) just 3 weeks ago and their business is exploding. Their spin is 100% pure, true feelings. Even truer than those from Hallmark.

Butch Emory, the President and CEO of TFGC, LLC, told us, “There has never been anything like what we are doing. We are bringing a new date to the party.”

Some examples of True Feelings Greeting Cards:

Outside Cover of Card: To My Wife. I have never loved you more…

Inside of Card: Thank you so much for finally signing the divorce papers!

 

Outside: Thank you for the gift, My Darling…

Inside: I appreciate you giving me Chlamydia and not some vicious Venereal Disease that I can die from.

 

Outside: Congratulations on your New Baby…

Inside: Even though you never sent one card or made a freaking phone call to me when I had any of my 3 kids, Asshole!

 

Outside: Congratulations on your Wedding Nuptials…

Inside: Even though you didn’t invite me, you Douche Bag!

 

Outside: Happy Father’s Day…

Inside: You Asshole! Where’ve you been for 25 years?

 

Outside: Thinking of You…

Inside: And the money you owe me, you Deadbeat!

 

Outside: My Darling, I cannot wait to be with you…

Inside: Only 7 to 10 more years until you are released from prison. 5 with good behavior. I am counting the days!

 

Outside: Merry Christmas…

Inside: I know that you will find your way and let Jesus into your life this season, Sinner! With love.

 

Outside: Happy Hannukah…

Inside: JEW!!!

 

Outside: Happy New Year…

Inside: Don’t forget… One more DUI and it’s a felony. Mandatory jail time, you Lush.

 

Outside: Happy Thanksgiving…

Inside: This Season I give thanks that you, your bitch of a wife, and your spoiled, spastic children are celebrating at your Mother-In-Law’s house!

 

Outside: Happy Birthday…

Inside: Here. I sent you a card. I didn’t forget. Happy?

 

Outside: To my Wonderful Son…

Inside: I love you. You are my Pride & Joy. Now get a job and move the f**k out of my house!

 

Cards can be viewed and ordered at: www.truefeelingsgreetingcards.lmao.com.

1 Comment

  1. W. W. September 18, 2023

    OMG! Hilarious. I love how you make fun of stupid people. You have your thumb on the pulse of America’s best “Idiocracy”. You are ahead of your time Man!!!

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