Whatever Happened To?

There are so many incredible musical groups and solo artists that we remember when we hear their songs come on the radio… actually on SiriusXM, streams, podcasts, or video music channels (who has a radio anymore?).

“Stuck in the Middle with You” – Stealers Wheel.  “Kung-Fu Fighting” – Carl Douglas. “Afternoon Delight” – Starlight Vocal Band. “99 Luftballons (99 Red Balloons)” – Nena. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” – The Georgia Satellites. “Come On Eileen” – Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Just to name a few.

But the one name that people never seem to remember from the late 70’s and 80’s is Rolph Ralph Buckjohansinbergersmith. Or as he was better known, Rolph Ralph “Kid” Buckjohansinbergersmith. We caught up to Rolph Ralph “Kid” Buckjohansinbergersmith to see where he is now.

MPL: Hi, Rolph Ralph “Kid” Buckjohansinbergersmith.

Rolph Ralph “Kid” Buckjohansinbergersmith (Kid):Thank you. Thank you. It’s great to be here in sunny Arizona. The Sunshine State.

MPL: So, what would you say were the best songs that you ever recorded?

Kid: Oh. Well. I would have to start off with “These Shoes Were Made for Walking.”

MPL: Wasn’t that a Nancy Sinatra song?

Kid: Common mistake. No. Mine is “Shoes.” Not “Boots.”

MPL: What else?

Kid: God. Where do I begin? “Like a Tumbling Stone.” “Lucy In My Yard with Emeralds.” “Johnny B. Well.” And of course, my disco phase… “Shake Your Groove Item.” “YWCA.” “Macho Guy.” And you can’t forget, “We Are Relatives.”

MPL: There was a lot of criticism that your songs were knock-offs of popular songs that had already been recorded by other artists. What do you say to that?

Kid: Really? I’ve not heard that before. That is a first for me. In what way do any of my songs sound like songs recorded by other artists?

MPL: Well, when you recorded “Another One Bites the Dirt,” Queen sued you for plagiarism. And when you recorded “Jessie’s Girlfriend,” Rick Springfield sent you a cease-and-desist letter threatening to sue you for millions of dollars.

Kid: I do not recall any of that. And the only reason I stopped performing “Jessie’s Girlfriend” was because I decided it didn’t fit into my persona as a hard rocker.

MPL: So, in regard to being a hard rocker, you also recorded, “You Shook Me All Evening Long,” “Dr. Feelwell,” and “Ace of Clubs.” ACDC, Motley Crue, and Motorhead filed a class action lawsuit threatening to sue you for millions if you did not retract these songs.

Kid: The only reason that they did file that suit was because those songs did not make millions. You can’t get blood from a chicken.

MPL: You mean, you can’t get blood from a stone?

Kid: Of course, you can’t get blood from a stone (mumbles). Idiot.

MPL: So, what was your number one hit overall?

Kid: Well, since there was no way to rate songs back then, it would be impossible to tell.

MPL: Rolling Stone. Billboard. Spin. These magazines were all around since the 1960’s. They always had a Top 100 list.

Kid: That was just all politics. Those charts mean nothing.

MPL: I’ve noticed that you have developed a British accent since we’ve started this interview.

Kid: Well, I am British. Born and bred.

MPL: Your bio says you were born in Waupaca, Wisconsin.

Kid: Well, twice removed, of course.

MPL: What does that mean?

Kid: Trust me on this. Please. Just trust me.

MPL: So, what are you doing now?

Kid: I am working on my 87^th album right now. “12:00 AM; Midnight.” It’s more of a Pop album. The lead track is called “Speak Immediately.”

MPL: Isn’t Taylor Swift’s new album called “Midnight”? Isn’t her title track called “Speak Now”.

Kid: I don’t know who that is.

MPL: Kid. I want to wish you the best of luck in all of your new ventures. And all of us here at MPL hope that you do not get sued again.

Kid: That is a catchy title… “Won’t Get Sued Again.”

MPL: Pretty sure The Who may have a problem with that one.