Where There is a Will

Estate attorney William Johnson of Palm Beach Florida has a niche will writing business. He has been putting together wills for the last 25 years but in the last 5 years he has come up with a unique service. William explained his highly unique and successful approach to will writing, “Writing wills for 20 years to the uber wealthy made me realize one thing, and that one thing was, how much they couldn’t stand their kids. They always complained how their kids didn’t ever do shit until they were worried about their inheritance. So I came up with a way to have the money go to good use. I set up charities in the kids names and then I went to work. I had it set up in the will that upon death it triggered an event where the estate purchased crazy shit that would go to the kids. One triggered a purchase of the naming rights to stars in the sky. My favorite client Arnold hated that his kid was homophobic, so he left him ownership of a gay porno site put in his name and Arnold made sure that the purchase was put on the headlines of all the newspapers and media outlets congratulating his son on his new endeavor.  His other son who was also annoying but in a different way was given a 200-acre peanut farm in Georgia. Sounds nice, except his son was highly allergic to peanuts. I have had clients purchase mule farms, feral cat habitats, used gum collections and the like. The only sad part is that they never get to see the look on their snobby spoiled piece of shit kid’s face when they are read the will. However, my new adventure is faking their death and videotaping the reading so they can see the reaction. These people are so rich that they are willing and able to pull it off and I get to make a shit load of money doing it.”