Wrestling Blind
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The World Wrestling Association has been looking for ways to expand over the last 30 or so years. At first, they added ladies to the mat and then small people jumped in as well. Unfortunately for the WWA their newest creation is under fire because of their new style of wrestling. In an effort to compete with the special Olympics, the WWA attempted to have a Blind Man’s division.
Unlike the competitors, it is easy to see why the new division was a disaster. Some matches took 20 minutes before they would even come in contact with each other. WWA representative Hank “the Hammer” explained, “We needed an avenue to compete with the specials, at first, we suggested having the R word people get in the ring and battle it out but our first test group walked out immediately after the wrestlers were announced. At least I now know not to use the R word anymore, or even the word tard because there is a lot of sensitive people out there. Then after I got poked in the eye once I remembered the difficulty it caused and then I thought why not have blind wrestlers. We did get a little too cute in the beginning as we had them start with folding chairs for dramatic effect, but we still have a fan in a coma as a result, so we nixed that idea and just let them start in the ring. We tried tying bells to the wrestlers to help each one locates the other but that just got too darn annoying. So we decided to have them wrestle in smaller rings to limit all that running around to find each other.”
Things went sideways for this new brand of wrestling when Gary Glaucoma faced off against Cataract Carl. Turns out Carl faked his blindness to win the division and they only found out when they handed him the championship check to Carl and his comment was “Hey they misspelled my name. My name is Carl with a C not K.” Turns out the WWA is under investigation for fraud to the public and it even makes me wonder if the special needs people or the R word people as Hank says were even special. Coca Cola has even pulled their advertising for this new and refreshing WWA brand.
