A Summer of Wildfires

Wildfires across Northern California, Southwest and the Northwest Pacific have gotten out of control. We recently learned of a fireman in California who died from drinking from the fire hose. Before he died he had this to say, “Why is the water in my mouth coming out of my ass?”….seconds later he was dead. A lot of people in Northern California are blaming the increased number in fires due to lack of rain. However, there is a growing population of people in Seattle blaming all of the fires on Tim Pyrotech for inventing fire. He invented fire in BC and is still alive to this day. Many people believe Tim is causing all of these issues. We spoke with a resident in Portland and here is what she had to say, “Tim is an asshole and genius…..jiminy crickets…..guy invented fire…my son just invented weed…..he says he is first to market……he was pretty high when he told us this!”