Turdcutter Park, so named for Admiral William Turdcutter of Space Force, hosted a massive double protest on Sunday afternoon. The Conservative Unified New Teachers Society was out protesting the latest thing, and in response the liberal leaning Freedom United Competitive Knowledge Society was out in force staging a counter protest against the initial protest. All […]
The American Hotel Chains of America is trying to institute a new policy for all hotel chains. Jack Ulait, head of the AHCA spoke about their desired new policy, “We are fed up with men constantly masturbating in our hotel rooms, more specifically, doing it and not cleaning up afterwords. It’s hard enough to keep […]
The Bears have struggled as a team over the last decade. That is when the front office decided to use draft picks from Bill Savages fantasy football league. Bill holds a fantasy football league that he wins every year. The Bears felt that Bill (albeit fat and drunk most of the time) has a pretty […]