Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Science

Legendary MoonWalk Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Weds to Celebrate His 93rd Birthday

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By Steven Spark


Buzz Aldrin announced that he has married his “longtime love” in a small ceremony in Los Angeles. The former U.S. astronaut, who was the second human to ever walk on the moon, married 63-year-old Dr. Anca Faur on his 93rd birthday. Faur, who has a doctoral degree in chemical engineering, has served as executive vice president of Buzz Aldrin Ventures for the past four years. Aldrin added that the two of them are “as excited as eloping teenagers.”

When asked about the age difference, he replied, “First of all, there aren’t many 93 year old women around, or at least not anyone you’d want to date.  But also, I’m just looking at this as another mission.  I want this to succeed, but if not, that’s fine too.  Astronauts always have a plan B, and C and D, etc.  For example, my plan B if this doesn’t work out?  The Mother of Dragons, Emelia Clarke.  I am so in love with her, you know?  Yes, I realize she is like 60 years younger than me, but without getting into details, I’d just need to go on a trip to Mars for a week or so and then, due to the relativity theory and quantum physics, she’d be right around 63 when I return.  Then I think I can totally bag her, yeah.”

Pfizer has already said they would sponsor Aldrin and would pay him to announce every successful “liftoff” and “reentry” that happens between the newlyweds.

He is a true American Legend, and we at MPL wish him nothing but the very best!

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