Matt Lauer Handed Down 10 Year Sentence to Work for Al Jazeera

Matt Lauer was most recently in court. Final sentencing included working for Al Jazeera in their Iran satellite office for 10 years. He can be paroled in 5 years if willing to douse his body in gasoline and walk around with a lit match. Matt has agreed to these terms. We spoke with his mom and here is what she had to say, “Well…..I hate to see his journalism talents go to waste……then again, I hated when they closed Neverland Valley Ranch……….he did always call in sick since he doesn’t work in the rain…nothing wrong with raising a douchebag.”