“First Time Driver” Car Goes To Market

A new car company on the seen just released a car specifically designed for new drivers on the road. When every kid turns 16 a new way of freedom and excitement ignites. A new company called “SOOBVIOUS AUTO” released its first car back in April. The standard model comes with the following:

• Unusually large sign that says “NEW DRIVER” in bold and blinks in neon via LED lights
• 50 internal cameras that watch your every move and your stupid ass friends in the back — when they do something stupid the tech automates posting to all social feeds and calls your mom
• Has internal voice of fat old lady (and man if you desire to use) yelling for you to stay on the right side of the road and that you are stupid — this is a confidence builder
• Has a vice you stick your head in so you can only look straight (warning: lots of kids get headaches from this and there head gets thinner)
• Turn Signals that scream you are a new driver and people should be concerned about your lack of driving experience (this helps so you never have anyone near you — they would have to be stupid to drive next to your shit driving)
• A full car wrap that says you work for AVON even though you don’t — This is a safety measure we have found effective

New models will released come October of 2024. The new models come with an even bigger “NEW DRIVER” sign that lights up in a hologram all around you