Florida state representative John Winthrop has proposed a new bill that would make it illegal for strippers to wear glitter of any kind while working. Ted Johnson, spokesperson for Representative Winthrop explained the new law, “Glitter has cost married men over one hundred million dollars in divorces in the last ten years. We are proposing […]
OSLO, NORWAY – After years of studying Erling Haaland’s astonishing combination of speed, strength, and goal-scoring ability, Norwegian scientists have reportedly reached a unanimous conclusion: “This wasn’t a birth. This was a first-round draft pick. Somewhere, Charles Darwin is demanding a drug test.“ The investigation began after researchers examined Haaland’s family history and discovered what […]
Trump is forcing Argentina and Spain to play the big game on the front lawn of the White House. Dana White will be attending and so his is mom who is dead. Fred Trump who has been dead for years will also be attending. Eric Trump is attending and has indicated he will be admitting […]