LAREDO, Texas – In a ceremony that historians are already describing as “deeply unnecessary,” U.S. Senator Ted Cruz was officially named “Mr. South Texas 2026” by the Washington’s Birthday Celebration Association. An organization apparently dedicated to proving that awards can always get a little sillier. The honor was presented at the Laredo Country Club, where […]
WASHINGTON – In a performance political scientists are calling “a masterclass in confident stupidity,” former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem told Congress that the U.S. government had heroically “found 145,000 missing migrant children.” “Under Biden, more than 450,000 children went missing,” Noem declared dramatically. “But under President Trump, we’ve already located 145,000 of them.” Fact-checkers […]
After further discussion, several states have approved a new daylight savings law that goes into affect immediately. Moving forward, each of these states will have permanent daylight savings and it is always 3AM. Bars and dispensaries in each of these states feel this will be great for business. Additionally, the general population would rather live […]