EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – Spain won the 2026 FIFA World Cup Sunday. Apparently Donald Trump thought HE did. The evening got off to a rough start when more than 80,000 fans greeted the President with a chorus of boos as he walked onto the field for the medal ceremony. Trump reportedly responded with a smile […]
Florida state representative John Winthrop has proposed a new bill that would make it illegal for strippers to wear glitter of any kind while working. Ted Johnson, spokesperson for Representative Winthrop explained the new law, “Glitter has cost married men over one hundred million dollars in divorces in the last ten years. We are proposing […]
OSLO, NORWAY – After years of studying Erling Haaland’s astonishing combination of speed, strength, and goal-scoring ability, Norwegian scientists have reportedly reached a unanimous conclusion: “This wasn’t a birth. This was a first-round draft pick. Somewhere, Charles Darwin is demanding a drug test.“ The investigation began after researchers examined Haaland’s family history and discovered what […]