The office of the president just announced that the real 250th celebration of the United States will take place again next week. Spokeperson James Philips II explained, “the party most people saw the last week was a dry run. It is the reason you only saw 1000 people on the mall celebrating. Our president expects […]
Angela Nikolau and Ivan Kuznetsov made it to the top of the Empire State building in an effort to endorse Tampax. Later on that very same day, they had left only to realize Ivan left his wallet up there. So, they went back up to the top of the building to get his wallet and […]
Most recently the federal government did a random background check on all federal employees. It turns out, Trump is not a US citizen and is now being deported back to his native country, Nauru (a tiny pacific Island). We also later learned that Trump just started speaking fluent English as early as a year ago. […]