Tap Water is Outlawed in the US

Moving forward, there is a mandate that will outlaw water. Everyone in the us will have to drink coffee instead of tap water. This includes adults and kids. Here is what one state legislature had to say, “Everyone is so fnnnn lazy…..we figure if everyone is amped up on caffeine, we believe people will be more productive…..only issue we are running into is coffee is a diuretic……people are pissing all over the streets because they don’t know the combination to get into the bathroom at Starbucks….by the time they get it…it is way to late……good news is urine tests will be far easier….everyone can fill up a cup now and experience overflow…..doctors and life insurance companies are thrilled with the speed of the test these days….and more yellow snow this winter!”