TSA Allows Passengers to Self Check

The TSA shortage has been having problems securing our nations airports across the country. As a result, TSA has implemented a new policy that will be asking passengers to do pat downs of other travelers. Recent passenger Bryan Alston explained his experience going through TSA at Atlanta’s Hartfield airport, “It was weird at first going up and down fellow travelers bodies to see if they were hiding things, but then I noticed a group of cheerleaders in line and decided I could stay and do my part. I eventually had to leave otherwise I would have missed my flight.” Other passengers were not as thrilled with the process. Kelly Paulson described her reservations with the new system, “having another person go up and down my body to check for things was not what I signed up for. Not to mention, I was wearing a cheerleading uniform for my competition and this one guy kept on insisting that he felt something on my body and thought it could be dangerous, but after the eighth check I insisted I had nothing to hide and went through the line.” Another passenger with a big beard who was wearing a very bulky vest was seen patting down eight of his friends and sending them on through with a smile, they refused to be interviewed but were all grinning form ear to ear, which suggests they were pleased with the new rules.

A new policy has also been added for passengers called the, “Touch and Pat Me Down More”. This gives passengers the right to have TSA pat them down more than once in the same location. Trump indicated that this was his idea.

There was one incident which is being investigated where a passenger was insisting on doing a body cavity search on another passenger. He was accused of only doing body cavity searches on young adult females. TSA did however point out that he did find a potential explosive device hidden inside one woman, turns out it was just a vibrating butt plug and all is fine and the program is working as intended.