NFL Combine Rule Change

The NFL draft is the beginning for many hard working division one athletes coming out of prominent football programs. However, several new rules are coming into play. Below is the new rules that Roger Goodell has now implemented:

• No more performance enhancing drugs. Just male enhancement drugs.
• The “Red Rover” test is new. Players will have to sprint to the 50 yard line joining hands with another player. During the sprint they have to sing their favorite Katie Perry song followed by “Red Rover”.
• Players are no longer allowed to hug each other during the combine after a superior performance. However, Roger is insisting on dry humping him first.
• Speed and agility are no longer a factor during the combine. The new test is how long can you hold your breath while another player is sitting on your face blowing farts. Few players have passed this test which is a major concern. There have been only a few fatalities.
• Now, players parents are being asked to participate. Each parent is being asked to run the full length of the field while their son rides piggy back. This new event is  designed to see how much their parents care about them if they want the new house and car. Players are very happy with this event.
• Players can now elect to choke their agent during the combine just before they turn blue. It is the 8 second rule set to be adjusted.

More to come as rules continue to change during the combine.