Shohei Ohtani Sweepstakes
As the price for Ohtani is likely to record breaking, the last place New York Yankees are already dumping half their team, and will most likely be a front runner in trying to land the once in a lifetime pitcher. The Yankees, at a minimum, are in the process of offering the following:
- The entire New York Mets Team
- The Statue of Liberty
- Aaron Rodgers (At Least the Angels will get ONE Aaron—just not Judge)
- Leftover Rudy Giuliani hair dye
- A lifetime NYC MetroCard for their Subway System
- Billy Crystal
- Jay Z and whichever 16 bars he’s willing to share to capture a Cali vibe
- One SNL cast member
- Matthew Broderick or Sara Jessica Parker (but not both)
- David Letterman’s favorite Final Top Ten List (autographed by Letterman himself)
In addition, The Angels will be asking for The Yankees for The Entire Triple A Team, Brian Cashman’s personal debit card, and a lifetime pass to The Metropolitan Museum of Art anytime the Angels come into town. While this may seem like a lot, The Angels truly believe this is, at a minimum, a good starting point for discussions.

I believe that China is financing the Yankees to pay for Ohtani!