Walter Carter Jr., admitted to an inappropriate relationship on campus. After further research, it was discovered that Walter was found in the Zoology Department on campus humping an Irish Wolf Hound. However, several voyeurs on campus were certain he was trying to procreate. The Columbus police department is challenged with finding officers willing to watch […]
Harvey Weinstein was recently pushed around by another inmate in jail as of this morning. We spoke with the prison guard on the scene and here is what he had to say, “Well, Harvey was trying to rape a rapist on the first floor…..utterly disgusting situation……however, in my role, it is worth it to grab […]
LAREDO, Texas – In a ceremony that historians are already describing as “deeply unnecessary,” U.S. Senator Ted Cruz was officially named “Mr. South Texas 2026” by the Washington’s Birthday Celebration Association. An organization apparently dedicated to proving that awards can always get a little sillier. The honor was presented at the Laredo Country Club, where […]