Bare Exam

Urologist doctor Phil Itall is coming under fire for his unique ability to diagnose prostate cancer. Dr. Itall explained, “For years the American Medical Association has been coming after me for my diagnostic abilities, specifically my unique prostate exam. They do not like that I do not use gloves for my rectal examinations. I do not understand why they don’t like that I refuse to wear gloves. At least I wash my hands after I do the exam, usually. This technique that I have perfected has resulted in 100% diagnosis of prostate cancer for my patients. I found early on in my career that gloves don’t allow you to truly feel one’s prostate like my bare fingers. Sure, I have had some unpleasant experiences, like the time I had a piece of corn stuck to my fingernail or the time I forgot to trim my fingernails, man did that patient scream. Also, I no longer wear a ring anymore, I feel bad for that patient as he can no longer have an MRI, well at least until it passes, but at least he can say he is cancer free. I encourage my colleagues to follow my lead and shed gloves and really feel their patients.”