Pope is Leaning Toward Converting to Judaism

Pope Leo XIV is contemplating converting to Judiasm in an effort to keep the Catholic faith top of mind for the world. The spokesperson for the Pope, Paul O’Leary explained, “Catholicism is used to being broiled in controversy and lately there has been dead silence about Catholics around the world. The Pope believes out of site, out of mind. He even believes there is no such thing as bad publicity and this publicity is just what Catholics need. The Pope told me he has been sitting in his sauna shvitzing and contemplating this decision. The good news is, this should take away the talk about altar boys and extra curricular activities and divert the attention to the Popes planned Bar Mitzvah. I even heard him during a confessional, tell a sinner to stop being such a schmuck. I am not 100 percent sure he is going to go through it all, but on the bright side he is getting better at negotiating, so much so that he wants to have people say when they get a great deal, that they Poped ‘em down.”