Someone Has To Laugh
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump delivered the longest State of the Union in modern history Tuesday night, clocking in at 108 minutes, roughly 103 of which were devoted to vibes. “Inflation is plummeting,” Trump declared confidently. “It’s plummeting so hard you can’t even see it anymore. It’s below the ground. Historic plummet. Probably the best […]
In a bold move to simplify your life by making it more expensive, Paramount Skydance has agreed to buy Warner Bros. Discovery for a casual $110 billion and merge Paramount+ and HBO Max into one mega-platform. Because nothing says “consumer choice” like fewer choices. CEO David Ellison assured investors the new company will, “house beloved […]
In shocking news from the hallowed halls of Elite Boarding School for the Privileged and Mildly Unsupervised, Cher’s 49-year-old son Elijah Allman was arrested after allegedly causing a disturbance in the dining hall. Yes. Forty-nine. Police say Allman faces multiple misdemeanor charges, including assault, criminal trespass, and criminal threatening, which feels ambitious for a man […]
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