Pulaski, Tennessee – After years of failed boycotts, accidental self-sabotage, and repeatedly purchasing products from the exact companies they claimed to oppose, America’s three largest hate groups announced Monday they are officially going in a “more colorful” direction. Standing beneath a giant banner reading “Hate Has No Future™,” leaders from the Ku Klux Klan, the […]
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – Spain won the 2026 FIFA World Cup Sunday. Apparently Donald Trump thought HE did. The evening got off to a rough start when more than 80,000 fans greeted the President with a chorus of boos as he walked onto the field for the medal ceremony. Trump reportedly responded with a smile […]
OSLO, NORWAY – After years of studying Erling Haaland’s astonishing combination of speed, strength, and goal-scoring ability, Norwegian scientists have reportedly reached a unanimous conclusion: “This wasn’t a birth. This was a first-round draft pick. Somewhere, Charles Darwin is demanding a drug test.“ The investigation began after researchers examined Haaland’s family history and discovered what […]